One of the Boys – I am not really sure if this is the best place to write about this thing that is bothering me as of the moment, but I will still write it here since it’s my personal blog anyway.
Most of my male friends see me as ‘One of the Boys’. No, I am not a lesbian nor a bisexual. I am not wearing loose pants and shirts either. I am just plainly one of the boys.
To those who know me very well, it is an open fact that I have a lot of male friends compared to the female ones. Some were even teased to me, but nothing really romantic went in the way.
See, I never had a boyfriend. Some girls my age might be alarmed if they are in a situation similar as mine. You know, being around guys but you always end up as the rose among the thorns? You are very much loved and protected by the thorns and they will prick every possible bad element who would intend to hurt you.
I remember during my debut, a close guy friend of mine gave me a rose inside a breakeable glass. He even enclosed a poem he wrote entitled ‘Be Careful’. He pointed out that I should be careful in every aspect. My cousins used to literally guard me at school when i was in first year college. I think the fact that i am surrounded by two tall guys with one who looked like Alex Crisano can scare a lot of people away.
See, being one of the boys is fun. You can feel the genuine love, care and respect of the people around you. The best part is that they give their support in everything you do. They don’t even give a damn even if you’re wearing your usual lazy clothes or if you are having a bad hair day. They will try their best to make you laugh if you are down and will wipe your tears if you can’t seem to handle all the emo-ness in your heart.
Just awhile ago, I had a small conversation with a female friend who we will hide in the pseudonym Pink Urinal (duh LOL). I told her about my sudden worry about what happened to me months ago and how all of a sudden, my insecurities hit me once again. As usual, she gave me a slap on the face by making me realize that even if these thorns are sweet and nice, I still need to keep in mind that these thorns might block several human beings who wants to befriend me or eventually, fall for me (naks LOL). She even gave an advice that I should hang out more often with my girl friends so that I’d end up dressing up as a real girl (with high-heeled shoes, dresses, sleeveless tops, makeups, straight hair etc.).
I got her point, but I just feel that now is not the right time to really ‘reinvent’ myself. Maybe I am used to my ‘very comfy’ self. You know, being safe with black and white tops and dresses (try to scan my pictures and you’ll know what I mean), I worry about my companions when i’m wearing high-heeled shoes (because I am almost 5’9 ft with heels), wear shorts and dresses (I am slowly coping up with this now since I now appreciate my legs compared to before – thanks to my girl friends!), try sleeveless tops and backless (I used to wear these when i was in high school and college – for dance presentations LOL), apply make-up (wah i’m just plain lazy to apply color on my face) and undergo a hair treatment (and i always end up getting a bad hair after three days. grrrr!).
Being one of the boys has a number of pros, but it also has cons. Some might misinterpret your actions. Some might even call you names and backstab you especially if these girls have a crush on your male friend. Let’s face it – you are a threat to them. In a way, you are blocking the girls (or gays) in getting close to them without your conscious knowledge (but still you do LOL). Not only that, the male friends can be very, very, very protective or they’ll treat you as their little sister – which means you have to deal with a strict kuya or else, you’re dead 😐
So what’s the point of this blog post? I don’t really know. I am actually lazy to re-read the whole thing I wrote since it’s alredy 4:30 in the morning and I have to blog about the latest trends in the search engines (haha kamusta naman yun?!), but I just want to let everyone know that I may be a flirt in the eyes of the individuals who doesn’t really know me well (well, a friendly flirt is fine LOL), but I don’t care eh-eh-eh-eh-eh – there’s nothing else i can say 😛
PS: I want to end this post with a striking statement, but errrr… I’ll be in Cebu this weekend and I’m planning to go around Cebu with my friends and possibly meet up with a distant relative. I simply want to enjoy life while I still can. It’s not my problem anymore if i am often seen with the boys since almost all of my female friends are taken (for real or for granted LOL). If you really, really want to know me and eventually be with me, be brave enough to pass through the thorns. This rose, who is like a damsel in distress is just waiting for you, risktaker. Are you willing to bleed? Please say yes ktnxbye.