I had a blast last week with the Bloggers’ Choice award that I received. The other afternoon, I received an email indicating that I won in an online writing contest that pushed me to renew my passport (which expired ten years ago LOL) immediately. I’m thankful that DFA responded in my online application query just in time. Just this afternoon, I went to DFA and processed my papers. I’ll be claiming my passport on October 22, a day before my flight ^_^
The photo above was taken in a blogger event sometime in December last year. When my friend took this photo and I saw it, i told him that this photo depicts a thousand words and I’m going to use it in a blog post soon. Now this is it!
Anyway, the intro of this post and the photo above has nothing to do with the blog title hehe. I simply want to write a letter to some male friends of mine who somewhat made me feel either too happy or too sad the previous days. No matter what caused my temporary anger or happiness, I would like to let them know that I am thankful for having them in my life…
Dear Boy Friend #1,
The misunderstanding we had weeks ago (which actually was caused by your changing of YM status and Tweets) made me realize why our friendship lasted for six years even if we only saw each other four times in person and bonded one-on-one just once. You Friendster testimonials, LJ comments and truthful advice related to family, life, love and career is just awesome. You witnessed how I grew up as a high school fan girl to a parazzi girl. You knew my frustrations as a girl who dreamt of going to Manila to a seventeen year old who just lost her father, a sister to her special brother, her heartaches with the HS crush, Bible Guy (who turned out to be a liar) to the real Robert. Now, we I am slowly realizing that you know me very well and I know your emo side too 😛 Because of that, I can say that I truly love you and I am willing to do everything just to make our dreams come true. Life is like an Ocean. Just dive right in 😉
Dear Boyfriend #2,
My life was messed up since the day I met you. You were such a big influence in my life. You taught me how to be childish and be contented with what I have. You somewhat erased (or lessen) the negative vibes in me. You are just too adorable that’s why I am deeply hurt whenever i hear destructive criticisms against you. I am happy because your dream is coming true and I am glad that I’m a part of it. The fact that you told the whole world how much you love me makes you an ideal bestfriend. I’m glad we are.
Dear Boy Friend #3,
I am glad that you are a part of my victory. I am glad that you trust me and you consider me as someone special in your life. You know my fears and you support my dreams. I am happy because you are open to me about everything. You know that you’re a big influence to me, right? I just feel helpless right now because I can’t find the right words to say to make you feel happy. To make you feel fine. Is it because of the changes? Maybe. But heck, all i know is i want to hug you right now and I wouldn’t hesitate to give you one… if only you’d allow me to.
Dear Boy Friend #4
To be completely honest with you, I really appreciate the times wherein you try to be a ‘father’ to me. I know you hate emotional dramas and stuff, but you were there when I needed someone to talk to especially when I was crying by myself at Krispy Kreme. Though we were physically far away from each other, we were virtually together. I know you feel my pain and I can feel your love for me even if you’re not vocal about it. I’d like to know you better and be with you when you need a crying shoulder.
Dear Boy Friend #5,
I admit that the argument we had last week is something that made me sleepless for nights and even questioned my capability not only as a blogger, but as a person. I think we were both emotional that day and we failed to say the right words. Yes, I am hurt. I know you were frustrated too because i took the context negatively. I know that you are just concerned about how the things that happened in the past somewhat contributed to me having a strong conviction about a certain thing, but i needed that. It was my only way to deal with things in a positive way and show the world that ‘I’m Fine’ though in reality, I’m not.
Maybe you’re right upon telling me the reason why up to this day, I don’t have a boyfriend and never had one. I am aware of these reasons and I don’t really regret it. As cliche as it sounds, I know that the right guy will come in the right time. I want to enjoy and explore the world while I am still single. Being single is actually a blessing specially at my age. I can freely travel without reporting to someone every minute, I can wear the clothes I want without someone to scold me because i look too comfy or too sexy, I can spend more time with my friends and myself and I can easily plan what I really want to do.Of course, that is only for now and hey, you guys are there, right? That’s more than enough already to make me feel that i don’t really need my own man =)
Going back to the long letters we sent each other last weekend, I was able to release the pain i’ve been hiding and you somewhat explained your point. I just hope that it’s not the end of our friendship, but a start of something that will last for a lifetime.
That’s it for now. Five Boys, Five Letters. I am not really sure on why I am posting this publicly, but heck, I will LOL. I am a 22 year old girl whoÂ currently wants to sleep but her heart tells her to blog. Oh yes. My right ear hurts too and I have an appointment this morning at a clinic. I might as well sleep and see how these five boy friends of my life react to my current emo post 😛
PS: It’s my first time to use the color feature of my blog. Cool pala 😛