On Waiting, Boredom and Lack of Inspiration

The other night, I met up with Ada to watch the new movie Suddenly It’s Magic. It’s been a long time since she last saw a Filipino film and this is a kilig movie. Most of the people watching were giggling everytime Marcus (Mario Maurer) does something sweet to Joey (Erich Gonzales).

Teleport Us to Mars! – Tammie Brown cartoon from http://heckyestammiebrown.tumblr.com

I enjoyed this movie because they were able to showcase some of the best spots in Ilocos Norte. We can’t help but calculate the travel time in every important scene toinks. I also enjoyed the scenes shot in Bangkok and Ayutthaya. I wasn’t able to explore Bangkok and Ayutthaya when I went to Thailand last February, and I am eager to go back.

But I can’t for now.

After watching the movie, Ada and I were able to catch up. It is my first time in months to see her again – just the two of us to talk. I am happy with the recent developments in her love life and I even met her fiancee last Sunday. I am happy that another close friend of mine is about to get married, although I have to write another post about my close friends and marriage.

Need to earn a living - Ronna McDonna style

Need to earn a living – Ronna McDonna style

Honestly, I’m bored. I am not even sure if I’m bored or depressed. There are some things that I cannot control and it makes me feel blah. I think I am at the point of my life wherein I want to do certain things, but I am not really sure if I wanna do it or if I can do it. Do I make sense?

I love what I do for a living, but I have to take into consideration other things specifically my family. I feel bad that all I can do for now is wait. I also lack the inspiration to do things or at least to exert extra effort to work on some tasks. I know by heart what I really want to be since I was in high school, yet this dream is out of the corporate setting. I just want to be out there and perform. There. I said it.

I envy the drag queens competing at Rupaul’s Drag Race particularly Manila Luzon, Jujubee and Raven. They’re so fierce and I want to be like them. How I wish I have the confidence to just go out there and do what I want to do without minding other people’s opinion.

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So there. I guess I’m just bored. I didn’t go out the whole month, my friends are busy, I have no love life and I’m waiting for something that is making me anxious. Oh well. I will just watch my favorite drag queens on YouTube for now and by next year, I will watch them perform live.

I need to live and figure things out. GAG!

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4 thoughts on “On Waiting, Boredom and Lack of Inspiration

  1. Ada | Adaphobic Travels

    We all experience the “waiting…” process. Even myself is currently on that process, only that I think of it less by making myself busy, watch DVD movies, porn, series, schedule blog posts, clean my room etc., most importantly, talking to friends like you. πŸ™‚ I suck at giving advises badet and you know that T__T so I dunno what to say else. Let’s meet up again, and this time sama naten mga badets rin πŸ˜€

    LAB YOU BADET!!!

    Tammie Brown for the win!

    Reply

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