After sharing my oh-so-funny-and-unusual airport experience from my Manila – Cebu flight last week, let me share to you the ’emo’ or ‘sentimental’ side of the trip.
Although I am sentimental all-year round, I can say that the ‘peak’ season of my emo-ness falls on July and December. It is the month of my dad’s death anniversary (July) and his birth month (December). For this year, I found myself in Cebu, which I consider as one of my favorite places in the Philippines. I dunno…. there’s something about Cebu that makes me happy and at the same time dramatic. Is it because of the people? I think yes. I have some good friends there that never fails to cheer me up and you can also talk to them about serious matters. The Food? Naman! The ambiance? I guess so. It is a city that is not as chaotic as Manila. If I had a choice, I’d move there or in Davao.
Prior to the Cebu trip, I felt a bit guilty. You know, me having fun with my friends while I should be ‘celebrating’ my dad’s supposed 48th birthday that week. After all these years, I chose to just be happy than sulk. I am enjoying but I never forget him. Never will I and I think he really made sure that I will not forget his birthday. Let me share to you some instances:
NOTE: If you are no sentimental fool, don’t read LOL.
While waiting for our friends in Jollibee for the Moalboal trip, I craved for coffee…. no, Mocha. I have this addiction with Iced Mocha so I tend to look for it no matter where I am. When I heard that a nearby grocery is already open, a friend offered to go with me. It’s just my second time to meet this nice fellow and it is the first time for us to really talk.
At first, we were talking about travel plans, then career ’till we reached the family aspect. We have many things in common that made me think about my future especially with my mom and brother. When people ask me about my dad, I usually respond with ‘nasa heaven’ or ‘patay na’. They tend to say sorry afterwards because they think that asking such question will make me feel bad. While we were in the grocery, my mind was floating. I dunno. I kept on answering questions honestly while trying to divert most of my energy in looking for that mocha drink from Nescafe. Where is it? Aw, not available. I ended up buying a chocolate milk drink instead.
I might have failed in locating that drink I am addicted to, but I can say that the simple conversation kept me grounded and reminded that hey, I have responsibilities for my mom and brother and that I should think about the future. We were also talking about goals and passion. Should I go back and stay for good in the UK? Last year, we ‘celebrated’ his 47th birthday in London. I think someone up there wants me to. Maybe.
#2 FULL MOON
I think I mentioned in some of my past entries that my last night memory with my dad was when I accompany him hang the clothes outside our penthouse (yes, we used to live in a penthouse). Full Moon. What a moment, right? I remember how he was stunned with the view and how fascinated he is with the moonlight. He told me that he thought he’ll never ever see such full moon ever again. I find that statement OA that time, but it turned out to be really his last view of it.
Fast forward to that specific night. I went on a supposed sunset cruise with two good friends of mine. The boat arrived late so we ended up exploring the place at night. The setting is just so perfect with the cool breeze of the wind, relaxing music and nice ambiance. Ang romantic sana ng setting eh hehe. All of a sudden, my friend and I started discussing about some personal stuff and then shoot, the family aspect.
When you’re in this age and you want to do something Â for your own happiness, you tend to weigh a lot of pros and cons. My friend shared how he felt when he joined a family on a certain trip and it made him think. He missed how he bonded with his family when he was younger and he wonders why all of a sudden, they’re not like that anymore. I told him that he’s a grown up man now so if he wants to do something for the family, he should make the first move. I actually envy him that his family is just around while me… I am surrounded by the people who loves me, but it’s still different when you have them beside you. You will only understand everything if that moment hits you already. Ma-pride din akong bata dati, pero I found out later on na wala rin patutunguhan ‘yun. Learned it too late.
Wow. What a moon. What a lovely sight of the moon! I kept saying ‘wow’, but my heart is pounding. No, I am not in love. I am just surprised. I cannot explain it LOL. All I know is that I felt happy and blessed after seeing that sight. Akala ko rin hindi ko na makikita ulit yung moon.
SCENE #3 PARTY
You know the saying ‘Dance like nobody’s watching’? I love to dance and close friends from way back can attest to that. I attended an anniversary celebration of a nice hotel and I remember tweeting about how I miss company Christmas parties.
Right after the program proper, most of the guests left already. The live band performed well and some of the employees started dancing. Together with three more friends, we started dancing after eating some sweets. The band played a number of ballroom hits much to the delight of the more senior employees. We were watching them and then before I knew it, I am already dancing ballroom with one and I even discovered that I can haz DI skills 😛 Later on, the four of us were dancing like crazy… like crazy! 😛
Friend #1 informed Friend #2 one incident from the past wherein someone mistook me as my father’s mistress 0_0. What an awkward incident to remember Haha but thinking about it made me smile. I have such cool parents who loved to dance and sing. I miss them.
All I can remember about that night is that I am happy to shake that groove thing, baby! It’s fun to dance with no inhibitions ala Britney Spears wholeheartedly singing the last line of Till The World Ends.
SCENE #4 STARBUCKS
Before our trip to Bantayan, I was left alone in a Starbucks branch in IT Park at 7AM. While waiting for my friends, I ordered my favorite drink and sat in one of the emo spots of the place (emo spot meaning in the comfy chair beside the transparent glass where you can see more people passing by). I am not sure if it is a ringtone or someone just played the song, but I heard the song ‘Nothing’s Gonna Change My Love For You’. It is my mom and dad’s theme song 🙂 . A father-daughter tandem entered and I started writing in my notebook. I cried silently trying to write all the weird things happening around me.
When my friend arrived, he Â looked at me and asked me if I’m ok. I just smiled and tried to stop the tears but I couldn’t LOL. I apologized for being emo that moment. It’s just that… errrr… di ko na kaya eh haha ganu’n talaga. Lakas pa maka-senti nung Christmas instrumental huhu. He smiled and told me ‘Ok lang yan, paminsan-minsan lang ‘yan‘. So there. The other friend arrived and we all geared up for Bantayan.
SCENE #5 Bantayan Beach
It started to rain hard when the complete bagets crew arrived in Bantayan. Kainis LOL. That didn’t stop us from invading the very calm beach though. So there we went. We’ll all get wet anyway LOL. We were there throwing fine sands at each other and sharing some funny stories.
The rain stopped and the sun is about to set. While enjoying our lazy moment at the beach, a new travel buddy approached me telling me how he liked the article I wrote here in Micamyx about my Dad. I was surprised because first of all, the group was discussing about Malapascua and some of our previous activities in the city proper. Second, we NEVER discussed about my family and it didn’t even occur in one of the group talks. Third, I wrote that article in June so I started to feel weird when he confirmed that he’s talking about the 40 bulleted points. Wow. Why?!?! Why tell me now?!. Imagine that strange look in his face when he saw my reaction. I told him that it is supposedly my dad’s 48th birthday the next day and that he’s making me feel his presence in many ways. Then woot pan on the sunset. Naiyak ako but in a good way. I think my dad whispered to him. I dunno. What a hopeless romantic dad. Dami mong alam! Hahaha.
Some might think that I am overreacting on posting this one and I am putting much meaning to everything. Oo na. Me already. But as they say, everything happens for a reason. Â There are just some instances or situations wherein we are reminded of our past not for us to feel bad, but to appreciate what we have now.
To My Dad: Kung makapili ka naman ng moment masyadong cinematic 😛 . I love you and I know you love me too hehe. Thanks for making me feel your strong presence after seven years of not physically being with us. I’m just glad that I inherited my kalokohan traits from you hehe. 😛 Â Also, thanks for making sure that I am surrounded by nice and sensible people. ‘Bantayan‘ mo lang ako palagi 🙂
And to the four Â ‘instruments’ -> Thank you. May my emo-ness not push you away hehe Thank you for making this trip special.
“At the end of the day, you showed me the way. I’m never in doubt” – Geri Halliwell, Someone’s Watching Over Me.
Let me share this song of Geri Halliwell called ‘Someone’s Watching Over Me’ taken from her first solo album “Schizophonic’. She wrote the song for her dad, who passed away before she became a member of the Spice Girls.
I apologize for being so sentimental. Daddy’s Girl eh. For your perusal, check #13, 29 &36 in this article written last June.