EMO MODE: ON

It was a night full of foods, drinks, name switch, prizes, music and fun. It was a night where bloggers took a break from their heavy school/workloads and more.

It was nice to see my old and new blogger friends. We talked about our whereabouts, took photos with the wackiest poses ever, exchanged calling cards, exchanged identities (haha LOL) and talked about the latest chismax in the blogosphere.

Since it is a drinking event, I decided to drink one bottle of beer. I am not really an alcoholic person, so i felt like i am tipsy already.

To be able to fight this alcoholic spirit trying to conquer my mind and body (naks LOL), I went to the WiFi station and blogged an entry about some of the stuff that are bugging me from time to time when suddenly I won an Mp3 player in the raffle (rejoice rejoice!).

I saved the entry and made it exclusive for my Multiply contacts. I went to the redemption booth to get my loot bag and bid farewell to some blogger friends. I wasn’t sure if I should go home or what, but I decided to stay.

I quietly enjoyed the music while i’m grooving on my sit. I really want to dance last night but no one was on the dance floor. When I noticed that some of my Plurkfiesta buddies were in the other side of the venue, I approached them talked about the stuff that are not really “plurkable”. We were discussing some points when the topic focused on me. It was nothing really offensive and I do really appreciate what they told me. I will not elaborate further, but it has something to do with Carlo, my advocacy, my family, my life, ME.

I remember when I started with my i.PH blog. I was in a rollercoaster ride when I started that blog – I was confused because of the decisions I had to make that time. I was also stressed because I was organizing some events for our orgs in school and I was heartbroken (don’t ask don’t ask).

If you are a regular reader of either my Micamyx-Dagupena Dreamer or Missing Carlo blog, you must have known for a fact that I do really put my heart in my “super emo posts” especially if it is related to my family.

I was never really alone when I was growing up. We had a number of problems in the family, but there was never a time that my father, mother or brother left me alone.

My dad passed away when I was seventeen because of aneurysm. I was a bit devastated on his death weeksary, but i managed to dance for a school presentation a week after. I was in the stage of denial, but i learned to accept the fact that my father may be physically gone, but I know that he’s watching over me.

My mom left for England years ago. It was a big adjustment for me at first since I am somewhat “dependent” to her. She buys my clothes, my shoes, my undies and all that. When she left, I had to take charge of her role as a mother to my special brother, Carlo.

Carlo is love. Love is Carlo. He’s my one and only Carlo. I only spend my money to please his tummy. I do the silliest dance steps whenever i am with him. It was through him when I learned how to appreciate even the small things in life. He also thought me how to cook Sinigang the right way.

With Carlo, I am the sweetest girl in the world. I hug him everytime i see him and shower him with kisses. When he left last February, I noticed that I am not as affectionate compared to when I am with him.

Back in college, he is the first person i always see when i go home. He would inspect my bag looking for candies or any other pasalubong (he’s a spoiled kid, i know). I learned how to be responsible and patient because of him. I have to.

Career-wise, I am happy. I am happy with the company where i am right now. I love my job, my officemates, my bosses and all. I can’t believe that after college I will be employed in a company that I used to see in magazines and tvc’s.

Now let’s go to my love life. Bakit nga ba hindi pa ako nagkakaboyfriend? Bakit hindi ako nakikipag-fling? Bakit hanggang salita lang ako wala naman sa gawa? Let’s just say that having a boyfriend is not really a top priority. For me, Fling is just a waste of time and money. I am open-minded, but I know my responsibilities. I can’t deny the fact that most of the time, I am also thinking about the “What ifs” of getting into a relationship. Every girl can dream, you know? But I am not really sure if I am really ready to get into one especially now that I am just a newbie in the corporate world. I do admit though that I am looking for good companionship that’s why I really love the weekly Plurkfiestas ๐Ÿ˜€ I also realized that majority of the Plurkfiesta peeps are those who are “Single”.

I then realized that I am somewhat living “Alone”. Going to work early in the morning and going back home alone can be very redundant and lonely especially when you don’t see any family member whenever you go home. I am used to gallivanting in the malls spending my time in coffee shops alone and I consider it as a time for me to know myself more – my wants, my inner dreams and fwhat i do really feel towards things. It’s just that sometimes, you can’t avoid the fact that I get affected whenever I see families shopping together or lovers eating and cuddling.

Oh well, I”m not rushing things. Besides, I am only twenty one. I know that someday, my mom, my brother and I will be together again, I’ll drive my own car and live in my own house and eventually resign from the “No Boyfriend Since Birth” Club.

EMO MODE OFF.

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8 thoughts on “EMO MODE: ON

  1. Micamyx Post author

    @jester – thanks for being there for me from the start ๐Ÿ™‚

    @jehzeel – oo nga eh hehe gusto ko maging header yan ๐Ÿ˜€

    @AileenApolo – Hehehe yup.. in due time ๐Ÿ™‚

    @bong – Loko ka LOL

    Reply
  2. Micamyx Post author

    @Sexymom – Yes po. I’m patiently waiting ๐Ÿ™‚

    Puyat nga po ako when I wrote that entry LOL

    @Jap – YEAH! Super EMo Mode on!!!

    Reply

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