A few hours ago, a female close friend and i spent the night talking about how frustrated i am in accomplishing a lot of task. See, I want to do a lot of things. I want to do a lot of projects. I want to write new scripts. I want to produce new short films. I want to attend cooking classes. I want to update my neglected blogs. I want to take up driving lessons. I want to go to Dagupan and just spend the weekend with my grandparents. I want a new laptop. I want a new dress. I want to go to the derma. I want to have my hair fixed. I want to try a new sport. I want to try a lot of things. So many things to do, so little time. So many ideas, so little funds.
Where should i go?
I think I am in the stage wherein i am trying to figure out which should i do first. I am a very artistic person (or should i say i believe i am) and i’ve been going through a lot of frustrations lately mostly related to my plans. I want to pursue a lot of things that i end up getting worried or upset. The worst thing there is i had no one to talk to. Yes, my blogger friends are online all the time, but meh, face-to-face interaction is still different.
I cried a few hours ago because all of a sudden, i recalled how i wanted to have my own independence way back. Financial independence that is. To be honest, I don’t really have my own baon when i was in high school. They would insist that i’ll just eat my lunch and snacks at home. Having a hundred bucks in my pocket made me feel like a millionaire for a day. I am not really from a poor family, but unlike my batchmates, I didn’t really have that much money to spend on new clothes and expensive food. If i want something, i have to ask them directly and defend why i want to purchase a certain item. I never complained at all. I actually appreciate the fact that they never spoil me because i value the importance of money now.
In college, i finally had my financial independence when i started working part-time at school and an aunt sent me an allowance while i was studying. Though 50% of my money goes to Carlo’s stomach, I felt very happy. When I started working here in Manila, that’s when I realized that being financially independent is not really that easy. Budgetting your money can lead you to sleepless nights.
Something came up to me and i suddenly cried. I don’t really know why. Maybe i’m just tired of thinking too much. I had the chance to talk to my mom the other night and she asked me again if i am ready to fulfill my promise to her that i’ll work on my papers as soon as i reach the age of 23. Six months from now, i’ll be twenty three years old. A lot of things can possibly happen in a span of six months. I also have six months to think about my future. I am enjoying my life as of the moment, but i guess its about time that i also consider working in another country. Maybe its about time to let go of the fears and move on with life. I am not getting any younger anyway.
Mica dear,
In you own unique and wonderful ways, you have accomplished so much in your life! You should be proud of yourself! I know I am and all of your friends are! Having said that, perhaps, it is time to move on and spread your wings somewhere else. You are so lucky you have a mom who’s very supportive of you. If my mom was like yours, I’d be out of this country in a jiff!
Go and fly away… spread your talent and skills. But do come back someday… do come back better and bigger than ever. We’ll be waiting for you.
*hugs*
Awts, after reading this I think yeah, you should let go of some.
And first thought in my mind is our project. I am open to canceling it if for the better. 🙁
It’s nice to have financial freedom, if you are earning like P100,000 salary every month, it can separate you away from poverty and financial freedom, but how about time freedom? Sometimes earning big has a big responsibility too and can take away most of your time for your love one, specially working abroad.
I wish you more blessing.
Hi Mica,
You are so blessed with the talents that you have upon reading your blog. I think you are enjoying your life well in Manila compare when you were in Pangasinan. You are now mingling with well known poeple in Manila and it will help you to have more ideas on how to earn money.But sometimes, working in the Phils is not well worth unlike working abroad. Anyway, you are still considered young and keep it up. I believe you will reach your goals.
mica, your mother knows what is best for you. you have a lot of things that you wanna do and my mga gusto ka ring patunayan . try your luck dun, wala namang masama.. at least you’ve tried. and monitor your life dun kung masaya ka ba or hindi.. pag hindi, talk to your mom and tell her na eto ung mga things na gusto mong ma accomplish.. i know she’ll understand.. pero kung maeenjoy mo naman dun and nagagawa mo ung mga dapat mong gawin, its very nice..
hi mica,
I was able to know about your blogs when I attended the IBlog@cel event at World Trade Center last Nov 15. I was with my classmates and professors. I just wanted to thank you for the tips you have provided about blogging. I have tried blogging myself, and I hope it will get better.
Regarding this post, I think I can relate to it, but it is just so hard being independent. I have tried applying abroad, pero di ako makaalis, di pa sguro time. You are just so talented. And at your very young age, time will come you will be able to reach more of your goals.
@Jen Adams Juan – Thanks Ate Jen! That’s sweet of you 🙂 I’ve been thinking about it for quite sometime now, but i still have a long time pa naman to decide 🙂
@Jumpshots.Ph- I want out project to push through, but maybe not in the next three months. I’ll concentrate on the new film first, i guess 🙂
@Dlysen – Thanks Dlysen! That’s true. But oh well. How I wish I am also earning at least 100K a month hehe 😛
@Ana – Thanks Ana 🙂 Yup, for now i’ll stay and learn from more experienced people.
@David.Edward – Takot ako mag-ingles sa England LOL!
@Alex – Thanks Alex for coming at the iBlogMini 🙂 I’m glad you and your classmates were able to attend. Try to blog more often. What’s your URL
About independence, yeah, medyo nakakafrustrate at times.