When The Person You Truly Love is Gay

‘Sa panahon ngayon, ruler na lang ang straight!’

Teh, sigurado kang straight yang katabi mo?

Teh, sigurado kang straight yang katabi mo?

Three years ago, Katrina Halili was launched as a lead movie actress via the sexy-comedy flick ‘Gigil’. It’s basically about a girl working in a call center who’s engaged to be married with her boyfriend for five years. The guy is almost perfect – family-oriented (or Mama’s Boy?), very neat (vain!), responsible and most of all, handsome. Who would have thought that the groom would runaway with the best man on the wedding day itself? It might sound like a funny scenario, but if that happened to me in real life, I’d end up crying for months.

Please Be Careful.. Naka-stapler lang yan

Please Be Careful.. Naka-stapler lang yan

‘Ingat ka diyan sa puso mo. Naka-stapler lang yan!’

Though I hate to admit this, I will still admit it here at my blog. Majority of the guys whom I had a crush on are either bisexual (or bi now, gay later) and gay. An example of which is the guy whom I considered as my ideal guy way back in my teen years. He was intelligent, talented, responsible and very nice. I can clearly see the signs, but I wanted to hear it straight from him. We’ve been chatting a lot last summer and I told him everything. He said that he is contented because he is now in a happy relationship and he’s finally out of the closet. At least now he is free.

I wouldn’t elaborate much on the rest. Some of them admitted that they’re bisexuals though I am already anticipating for the day that they finally accept the truth about themselves.

Why the hell am I blogging about this? Just last month, my grandfather and I were arguing about cheating. He narrated the story of his friend who got married on their twenties and later on filed an annulment when he reached 40 years old. The friend then had an intimate affair with another male guy and they lived happily ever after. We were thinking about the girl’s feelings and the shocking turn out of events.

Ikakasal ka nga ba o tatakasan ka ng groom mo?!

Ikakasal ka nga ba o tatakasan ka ng groom mo?!

Anyway, in a girl’s point of view, it’s really hard to be in that situation especially if you truly love the guy and you never had a clue that he is indeed gay. You can’t help but think that maybe he became sweet to you because he is using you as a shield to protect his true identity. Your heart is crushed and you can’t stop cursing. Your ego suddenly goes down and your self-confidence too. You later on question your worth as a woman. Paranoid much? Maybe. But that’s the truth.

But you know what, lady? You have no choice and you can’t really do anything about it. Just consider this as a lesson learned. But wait. There’s nothing wrong with falling in love especially if it’s genuine, right? But we have no choice. We need to move on.

So how will you move on from this? I guess it will be helpful if you familiarize yourself with the Stages of Mourning. Bereavement is not only applicable to death.

Hindi naman talaga siya badet. Mahinhin lang!

Hindi naman talaga siya badet. Mahinhin lang!

DENIAL and ISOLATION: So finally, you confirmed the hurtful truth. Ok, you had suspicions days or even weeks before that yet you kept on entertaining excuses just to defend that the person you truly love is straight. When you find out that he’s gay, you’d insist that he is bisexual. You kept on making excuses just to hurt yourself and you keep on expecting that one day, he’ll wake up as the man you wished him to be. But no.

Then you isolate yourself from your family, friends, workmates etc. You’d request for space as if you are an astronaut. You’ll be thinking and blaming yourself from falling in love with the wrong guy.

Bakit kasi ako nainlove sa kanya? Ang tanga-tanga ko!

Bakit kasi ako nainlove sa kanya? Ang tanga-tanga ko!

ANGER: As expected, there’s anger. You’ve been fantasizing about him all through-out these years only to find out that he is not looking for a she. You’d later on find yourself cursing him, deleting his photos, saying negative things about him, blogging about him (like this? Nah) and even slap him in a public place. Let it all out. It’s normal. Your emotions were hurt and even your ego was stepped on. Yeah, you know that it’s not really his fault that he is gay, but you can’t help but feel embarrassed and sad. Yes? Ok. Like what a Twitter friend said, Anger is just a cowardly extension of sadness. It`s a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you`re hurt

Siguro kung si 'A' na lang naging jowa ko, hindi ako iiyak ng ganito!

Siguro kung si 'A' na lang naging jowa ko, hindi ako iiyak ng ganito!

BARGAINING: If only I chose my suitor from the other building instead of him, I shouldn’t be crying like a baby right now. Sounds familiar? Oh yeah. You’ll be thinking of What Ifs and If Only’s. In the end, you’d end up hurting yourself. Still, this is normal. We have two choices most of the time and it’s quite depressing if you chose the one that will later on make your life miserable and make you feel stupid.

Iyak na nga sa bahay, iyak pa sa trabaho?!

Iyak na nga sa bahay, iyak pa sa trabaho?!

DEPRESSION: Sadness. Regret. Sickness. Need of Intimacy from sincere individuals. Depression. How can you stop your heart from beating without really killing yourself? Nah, don’t do that. Lalaki lang yan.

Tanggap mo na? Buti naman! Move on!

Tanggap mo na? Buti naman! Move on!

ACCEPTANCE: Once you finally accept the truth, you’d regain the happiness you deserve. Accept. Learn to accept and yes, move on.

Reaching the acceptance stage is not that easy, but it is the only way for you to find the true happiness that you deserve. Cheer up! You deserve to be happy…. And gay =)

****Photos taken from the movie ‘Gigil’ Starring Katrina Halili.

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11 thoughts on “When The Person You Truly Love is Gay

  1. L.A

    One word “BIIIIIITTTTEER” LOL!

    From experience noh?! Haha just be strong and hold on to something or someone when this shit happens.

    P.S – Acceptance stage is also known as Suicidal stage so just ba careful, ok?

    Reply
  2. McBilly

    Aw. This is such a sad situation to be in. 🙁 But I guess it’s good that you heard it straight from your ideal guy. At least now, you can go through the process and finally move on.

    Ang MAHIRAP lang diyan is IF pinaasa ka niya, dba? Hehe 🙂

    Reply
  3. xG

    taenang LA ito
    hahahahaha

    alam mo naman na halos pareho tayo
    ng naging tadhana
    pagdating sa lalake
    lahat ng nagugustuhan ko–bakla
    bakla na mas maganda pa sa akin

    mahirap tanggapin yung pinagkait sa iyo
    yung pagkakataon na mahalin mo
    yung tao sa kung sino ba talaga siya
    itatago nila yung katauhan nila
    manggagamit sila
    ikukubli nila yung totoo

    you deserve to be happy mica
    and we will do anything
    everything for you to achieve that

    be gay
    <3

    Reply
  4. Micamyx Post author

    @McBilly- Exactly. Kaw eh pinaasa mo ako LOL joke lang haha 😛

    @LA- Bitter na kung bitter LOL. I think sa Depression stage yung may Suicidal. Ako hindi ako magpapakamatay if ever. Mahal magpalibing haha 😛

    @FX- You know him very well 😉

    Reply
  5. Ada

    Kabisado ko yang Stages na yan hehe pinag-aralan namin sa Psych LOL 😆 Mas bitter naman ako kay Katrina, every guy I love are gay pft. Tsaka tama si LA, haha! Pag hindi nagprogress ang depression stage, suicide na. Kaya kahit sinung guy na makilala mo dakmain mo na, bakla man at least nakadakma ka.

    Reply
  6. Micamyx Post author

    @xG – Maraming salamat xG. Ganun ata talaga ngayon, Nakakalungkot pero kelangan natin maging happy and gay

    @Ada- LOL. Ikaw na talaga si Girl Dakma hahaha =p

    @Jehzlau – Nakamove on na ako dun. Walang mangyayari sa akin kung hihintayin ko siya lol

    @David.Edward – Wala lang gusto ko lang magpost tungkol dito hehe very timely naman ata 😛

    Reply
  7. Kevin

    Tae, napanood ko na yang movie na yan somewhere. Can’t remember! Cinemaone ata. It’s quite good, pero hindi ko siya naumpisahan. Tanda ko lang yung call center scenes.

    Reply

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