He was sipping a hot black coffee in a black mug where the saying “Life’s a Beach then you die” is engraved as he solves a crossword puzzle. He lit and puffed his last stick of Prime Time Cigars when I complained that I am irritated with his thick mustache especially when he is kissing me.

“You are not allowed to kiss me tonight unless you have your mustache and beard shaved. The ticklish feeling irritates me!” I angrily said.

“Dear, you don’t really have to shout at me. I will do whatever you wish me to do” he said with a smile on his face.

The next day, I saw him with a clean-looking face. He eventually hugged me and I hugged him back. He got the car keys at the top of the refrigerator and brought his luggage with him. He is working as a dj and he also hosts some corporate events.

“See, that’s how much I love you. I couldn’t last a day without hugging or kissing you especially now that I am about to go to Manila for work”. He explained.

I waited for him for weeks and I did a lot of productive stuff while he was away. We don’t have a residential phone line installed at our place during that time and I demanded that he should send me letters.
The radio reminded me on how much he loves me. He would greet me from time to time on air with words such as “I miss my baby!”, “You are my one and only princess!” and “I love you, my sweetie!”. He constantly played my favorite songs and brought home some tape/cd samplers, posters, tickets, freebies etc.

I demanded much of his time often. He is obligated to bring me with him to work on weekends. As his one and only princess, I constantly asked him on why these girls are sending him fan mails and gifts. He said that the ladies are showing their appreciation. He taught me that if it wasn’t for these screaming girls, he wouldn’t succeed with his job.

Years after, the DJ was diagnosed with aneurysm. The left part of his brain was deeply affected and I hate to reminisce how he looked like after the operation. He barely recognized me, his one and only princess. He yelled at me and I noticed that his speech was deeply affected. Days after, he started hugging me again though I was a bit terrified upon seeing the blood coming out from his head. He is sick and weak. I would later on see him undergo a mild depression as he feels like he can’t do anything to make his princess happy.
He passed away after eight months. The right part of his brain was affected too and he is in the state of coma. I wouldn’t want to see him die, but I wouldn’t want to see him suffer more either.

It’s hard to let him go. After three days of mourning, we eventually decided to have him cremated. We waited for four hours as his dead body is being burned in the big machine.

Then I saw him again in crushed pieces this time. The image of a cremated body depicted in the movies is very far from real life. A cremated body’s look is as similar as the one in the white beach in one of the resorts in Batangas – it’s white/cream and it looked like crushed sea shells. I smiled as I looked at the box and just whispered to him:

“Papa, now I know what the quote ‘Life’s a Beach then you die’ means. I am just not sure if I should take the literal or figurative meaning of it.”

NOTE: Just a little trivia – The first concert that i ever attended is a concert of Viktoria Agbayani and Francis Magalona when I was about five or six years old. I even have their autographed pictures in my cabinet in Dagupan.

Viktoria Agbayani is originally from Pangasinan. If I’m not mistaken, she is the first ever Filipina VJ of Channel V. My favorite video of hers is “Dahan-Dahan”, which was shot in Bolinao, Pangasinan. Francis Magalona, on the other hand is a former MTV VJ who used to host the show “Life’s a Beach”.

My father is a former DJ/host in Dagupan who was able to work in six different stations. He claims that he started his career in the FM radio station because he wanted to give his princess the best that he can as a father even if he’s just a struggling college student.